We ended up not getting the apartment we thought we would. We spent the last week or so debating about whether to get it. However, it turns out the "simsarr," or apartment finder, was not a very honest man. We went to see the apartment again before we signed the lease, just to make sure that everything was working and in good shape. We asked the doorman if Leia would be okay outside and if the whole patio was ours. While we were asking this, the apartment finder started getting anxious and urging us to come with him to go sign the lease.
It took about a half hour to get there, and when we arrived at the lady's house, we found out that the simsaar had lied and told her we wouldn't have a dog, and he had lied and told us we could have a dog. Apparently, in the Muslim religion, having a dog in the house is a bad thing. Dogs are considered unclean. We have heard that they have to be a certain distance away during prayer. (I don't really know the exact details of this.) Of course, not all Muslims practice this, (many have dogs and cats) but the lady who was renting out the apartment felt very strongly about it. So, naturally, we didn't get the apartment. We were very upset with the simsaar because we felt he was very dishonest with us. We wasted so much time thinking that he was actually getting us an apartment where we could live.
What would have happened if we had signed the lease and then they realized we had the dog? The simsaar would have already been paid, and he would have been nowhere in sight. It was just what he was hoping for. So, we didn't even ride in the same taxi back with him we were so mad. We thought that he realized we no longer wanted his services.
We couldn't believe it when he showed up this morning to tell Joe that he could take us to see some more properties. Joe pretty much told him to go away. It's difficult because we see it as one way, and I think he sees it another way. He thinks he didn't do anything wrong. We are his income, and he is going to do anything he can to make an income. In that frame of reference, he would do whatever it takes to make some money, and whatever brings him that money is okay. It's hard because Joe and I would never consider dishonesty to be okay. It was so uncomfortable sitting in that woman's home while she apologized to
us that she could not have a dog in her rental property. We just felt like all of our time was wasted.
At any rate, as you can see, this apartment finding business has been a bit of an ordeal for us. It is difficult to know who to trust when you are a foreigner in a country where you don't speak the language. Joe and I find that we can be a little niave some times, but I guess we would rather be trusting in people's goodness than to always suspect the worst.
We are meeting with our current landlord tomorrow to see if he'll let us stay another month. He may be a little upset with us because the school told him we were staying for a year. Meanwhile, they told us we could stay a month and then switch apartments if we decided to. I'm sure it will all work out. We will find the perfect apartment in the next month.
Otherwise, we have been hanging out with our friends from school and with our neighbors. Last night, Joe went with Wael to play computer games at an internet cafe. He and Wael each choose a country to be and tried to destroy each other. Something along those lines. I guess he would have to fill you in on that.
I hung out with Gheda and Rola. We had a good time. It's fun to hang out with just the two of them because they act differently when they are not around men. We had a good time trying to make homemade donuts. They didn't turn out at all, but we had a good time laughing at our mistakes. We also played a few good rounds of cards. The game b*** sh**, if you know it, is called "cheating" here. A much cleaner name. Rola beat me a few times.
It's so interesting because as soon as we heard Joe and Wael coming up the stars, Gheda had to run and change out of her tank top and shorts. She put on a shirt and pants. Later, Rola changed her outfit too. They don't talk as much when Joe and Wael are around either. The men get to do most of the talking around here.
My American friends and I were just talking about this the other day. It is so difficult dealing with the gender division here. At first, I thought it was just hard for me as a woman, but it is also difficult for Joe as a man. He has to do many of the miserable jobs. In the States, we would split certain tasks, but he has to do it all here. For example, when we have to talk to our landlord, Joe will have to do it. If I try, I will be ignored. He has to do all jobs like this. He has to take the dog out at night. I've done it once. It's just so uncomfortable walking to the park where all the men hang out and having them watch you. So, Joe gets stuck with a lot of the yucky jobs. I wish we could negotiate more, but we've found that nothing gets done when I try to handle it.
My friends and I also decided that this experience has been completely enlightening for us. Kelly mentioned that in order for us to help women or people in the world who are the underdogs, it is good that we are getting to experience a little bit of that. I could not truly understand what it is to be discriminated against until I came here. And it's not even considered bad here! Now, I can begin to appreciate what it feels like to be treated differently based simply on how you were born. I have a whole new empathy.
(I think I'm going to have to quote Oprah here.) She said recently on one of her shows that we are so lucky to be born women in the United States. This cannot be more true, at least from my current perspective. For example, a girl I work with told us the other day that she was so excited for her engagement party. She is a Muslim girl, and she wears a head scarf, etc. She said that her fiance is her brother's friend. Her brother was at school with him for 6 six years. He told her brother that he liked her and asked him if he could marry her. She said they'd just talked on the phone a little, like "hi, hello, how are you" kind of stuff. The man's parents came and asked her parents if he could marry her, and they agreed. I'm not sure anyone asked her. She sounded as if she barely knew him. She told us her brother assured her he is a good guy. She said he was tall and he would be a doctor. I can't imagine! Arranged marriages like this are still very common. It's the little things like this that surprise us.
I think I have rambled almost enough for one evening. We had Wael, Gheda, Rola, and Carly over for dinner tonight. We tried to make a little Tex-Mex for them. Homemade tortillas, rice, beans, cornbread, etc. I don't know if they liked it or not, but it was fun for us to try to make something familiar from home. I think the rice was best because I followed Janie's instructions on how to make it. (Although, it was nowhere near as good as Janie's! While we like exploring the differences and interesting things from here, we still miss our home.) I promise to make Joe write soon, so that you can get a different perspective on Cairo life!