Playing the Idiot Card

Lesson: In Almaty, when pulled over, act stupid and pretend that you don't know any Russian. Just before we left for the U.S., Joe and I had our third run in with the "law" in Kazakhstan. We've been pulled over a few times by traffic cops. On Friday, we were having a terrible day. After we left work after an early release we drove through awful traffic while our car overheated several times. Just when we were a block from home, one of Kazakhstan's fine traffic police officers pulled us over.

Apparently, Joe was about to go straight on a right turn only. While he was waiting for the traffic to [ass, the cop told him through the window that he couldn't go straight. He had to go right. Joe went right, but the traffic cop motioned him over anyway. Joe got out of the car to go talk to him.

In Kazakhstan, when you get pulled over, you get out of your car and meet them halfway since they are on foot. They are supposed to take your i.d. Then you go to the local police station, pay a fine, and get your i.d. back.

The first thing we learned was not to speak too much Russian. The cop pointed out to Joe the right-turn-only sign he had missed. Then Joe said, "I didn't go straight, I went right."

The cop answered, "You would have gone straight if I hadn't stopped you, so I'll have to take your license."

So Joe's true and obvious answer was, "But I didn't go straight, I went right."

It didn't matter. Joe was about to go get some bribe money, but the cop told him that money wasn't necessary. Now, Joe thought he was really in trouble. Images of the Kazakh jail floated in his mind. He had hit upon the one Kazakh policeman who couldn't be bribed. Joe never let on that he understood that he'd have to go to the police station. He just kept acting like he didn't understand and finally the cop just gave up. With a look of frustration, he told Joe to just go. In Russian, he said to Joe, "I cannot make you understand." With that, he let Joe go.

So, if you are ever in Kazakhstan and you get pulled over, have some cash handy or play the stupid foreigner who can't speak Russian. We've heard that they always threaten to take you to the police station, but never actually do.

That was our last day of school. It was a great end since we had a big "kindness" carnival at school where the secondary students set up games and activities for the elementary students. All we had to do for a half day was walk around and watch our students play. It was lots of fun and an easy end before the break.

We are back in America. Yeah! Sophia made it through all three flights with only one little fuss session. We drove back last night from Chicago, spent the night in a hotel, and continued on this morning. As usual, we are wandering around with our mouths hanging open. What great products there are in America. I went to get my hair cut and the stylist asked what I miss in America. It's the little things, brewed coffee, good chips, vegetarian food, all the new and convenient products. Joe said if anyone was watching the security tape in Target, they'd wonder what was wrong with me, wondering around with a stupified look on my face.

Right now, it's 4 a.m. and Sophia has decided that it's 8 a.m. She's ready to go, and lucky for her daddy and mommy are up too. We are looking forward to the days ahead, Christmas parties and my friend Janie is coming to visit. Now, if we can just get adjusted to the time.